“When have you seen me drink coffee?”
The question above addresses a person’s preferences. Sometimes, we assume because we don’t see someone doing or saying something means they have not done or said such thing.
That’s not true.
I don’t drink coffee. Never have; likely, never will. If someone noted they have never seen me drink coffee, they’re assuming I don’t drink coffee. Because that person hasn’t seen me do it, they believe I have never done it. What if I have in their absence?
The same is true about stating a person doesn’t read/study the Bible because I don’t see him/her doing so. I don’t see a family member studying it but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t. I don’t see him saying grace before a meal, eating at the table, apologizing for using profanity, but I can’t assume he doesn’t do those things. What if he does those things in my absence? I doubt it but I have no proof. In the household, if you hear your parents using profanity, getting drunk or high, you will assume it’s acceptable, but it’s not. If you start imitating your parents, you may be engaging in unhealthy habits, depending on what they are doing. If parents want their children to adopt good habits, they must set a positive example to avoid the argument, “You and Mom do it.” James Baldwin observed, “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” If your parents object to your getting a tattoo, they may argue, “You don’t see us with any.” What does that have to do with you? I dislike that argument when people say, “You don’t see us…” because it’s unrelated to your actions, and what you want to do may be harmless or acceptable. Otherwise, it’s a sound argument.
I remember considering buying a car cover to protect it from getting wet during rainstorms, but two people I know objected to it, saying, “You don’t see us with a cover.” What does that have to do with me? What someone does or doesn’t do is unrelated to what you do or don’t do. Oftentimes, we say, “Everyone else is doing it.” Odd, we say that when everyone else is doing something we think is right or acceptable. Otherwise, we object and resist.
Life with Adrian 